ENDARKEN Viewpoint: Cultivating Positive Black Male Black Female Relationships

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.. ENDARKEN VIEWPOINT	.. Issue: Cultivating Positive Black Male Black Female Relationships Question: What are the 3 most important things that Black women and Black men should do in order to cultivate and maintain positive mated relationships with each other? Sister Empress, ENDARKEN Guest Moderator 10/01/99 - 11/07/99 ..
Bill	Dr. Frances Cress Welsing, a black psychiatrist suggests: Choosing a mate for a black person is like choosing a person to share a foxhole, during a battle. A foxhole mate is chosen based on qualities which promote mutuality in the foxhole. A foxhole mate is one who you choose to fight racism with. .. Remember, you spend most of your time "ducking" (the effects of white supremacy) .. People in foxholes don't have time or resources to "show off". .. People in foxholes attempt to protect each other. .. People in foxholes understand that they cannot completely protect each other. .. People in foxholes understand that sexual intercourse and or sexual play in a foxhole is reserved for the comfort, enjoyment and support of victims of attack (racism) or the production of offspring. .. People in foxholes understand that choosing to produce offspring in a foxhole, is risky and difficult business. .. People in foxholes understand that at all times the enemy is out there and that those in the foxhole are the targets. .. Any misunderstanding or disagreements in the foxhole are superceded by the external war, and must be minimized to protect the foxhole. .. There is not much "bliss" in a foxhole. .. There is no "state of happiness" in a foxhole. .. People in foxholes can be "happy" from time to time, generally they must make themselves happy from time to time. .. When disagreements in a foxhole prevent one or both people from protecting the foxhole to the best of their ability it is better for one person to dig a new foxhole. .. Foxholes are the most orderly when there is only one person in a foxhole.
Cathy	The three most important things that a Black woman and Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship are to: Love each other. Respect each other. Communicate with each other.
Dawn	What a woman should do? [in order to cultivate and maintain positive mated relationships with each other]: don't expect too much too soon, after one date, don't start planning the wedding. .. be yourself, not what you think he wants you to be, or what you think men want? .... keep your friends, don't diss them as soon as you get a man. What a man should do? [in order to cultivate and maintain positive mated relationships with each other]: be honest: if you're dating other women, say so. buy the dinner, movie, and leave the tip., treat women with respect.
Empress	The three most important things that a Black woman should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black man are: Cultivate and maintain a solid relationship with God. .. Know thyself: what you desire, what you are, what you intend to manifest, and be brave enough to be alone if he does not compliment that. .. Never make him responsible for your happiness. The three most important things that a Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black woman are: Cultivate and maintain a solid relationship with God. .. Be honest about your intentions and brave enough to withstand it if she decides not to participate. .. Never make her responsible for your manhood.
Escofhari	The three most important things that a Black woman should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black man are show: Honesty Loyalty Integrity ...these seem to be overlooked on purpose, nowadays. The three most important things that a Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black woman are to show: Honesty Integrity Zipper control ..
Jacki	What are the three most important things that a Black woman should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black man? While I have my ideas, I'd like to hear what some brothers have to say on this one... The three most important things that a Black man should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black woman are to:.. Be able to communicate about his feelings/thoughts/goals. My experience (albeit limited to one brother for the last 20 years) has been full of mistakes on my part that were born out of trying to read his mind. .. Be able to recognize and appreciate compromise from his partner and to reciprocate occasionally. .. Be able to give emotional support and show an interest in trying to understand his partner. Some brothers are far too willing to write off relationship complexities to PMS :-( ..
Prema	The three (3) most important things that a Black female should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black male are: Seek to "Communicate Effectively." "Love like you've never been hurt before." Work at "Compromising" for the sake of the relationship. The three (3) most important things that a Black male should do in order to cultivate and maintain a positive mated relationship with a Black female are: Don't be afraid to be "Vulnerable." Be Faithful or be Honest. Work at "Compromising" for the sake of the relationship. ..
ENDARKEN VIEWPOINT QUESTION: What are the 3 most important things that Black women and Black men should do in order to cultivate and maintain positive mated relationships with each other? ENDARKEN Guest Moderator: Sister Empress	What's YOUR opinion? .. Enter your viewpoint statement(s) regarding Cultivating Positive Black Male Black Female Relationships, below, for posting to this web page [above]. Please my viewpoint statement on ENDARKEN. Enter your first name and/or your last name. Enter your e-mail address. .. E-mail additional comment(s) to: VIEWPOINT@endarkenment.com ..
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