the Subject of
Date: Thursday, February 3,
From: Brother DG
Natural Hair & Interracial Relationships
as a Black man who ONLY dates Black women in shades varying from cafe au lait to chocolate
Who do sistaz think taught
Black men to fawn and drool over straight hair?
Yup you guessed it --- the women they grew
up around (mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, etc.) and the dominant society that pushes
its own standards of beauty, daily. Why do sistaz think that if they had to come to terms
with Black hair and African features, that brothaz don't have to get rid of such negative
brain-washing as well?
Well, I can't change the
dominant society --- not overnight anyway. But, IMHO, sistaz need to choose how they
want to look for themselves and by themselves. If sistaz all went natural --- wasn't
a damn thing brothaz could do but appreciate it. If sistaz want brothaz to appreciate
natural hair... weeeeeeellllll...
Go out and get natural!..
Don't make excuses about "my
hair is unmanageable (as if for the past 120,000 yrs. of homo sapiens sapiens history
Brothaz are NOT goin' to
not been able to fix their hair until Madam CJ Walker came along...)" or
- "my head is shaped funny..." or
- "brothaz might not respond well to my
hair...", etc. etc.
if Black women continually go out
and get perms or dye their hair blonde, etc..
I have witnessed many instances
where brothaz became not only used to --- but interested and appreciative --- in/of
natural hair styles on Black women. So please, if one wishes to date white, brown or what
have you men --- then do so. But do not make it seem as if Black men drove one into the
arms of a member of another race. It stereotypes Black men without taking into
account that we suffer from the same beauty complexes Black women do. And it makes Black
women seem like pitiful victims, devoid of self control or power over their lives.
Fact is, ideas and standards
of beauty were began first and foremost by the dominant society. No matter how much they
want to touch our hair or compliment our African features, their society is the origin of
the inferiority complex we suffer from.
Isn't it the most vicious type of irony
that we seem to feel good about ourselves when one of THEM compliments us (hair or
otherwise), when it was their buttz, collectively speaking, (so, please don't nobody start on the good white
guy/girl they know story...) who got us stuck in this mess?
I get compliments on my nappy crown from
white women all the time. But it don't phase me one way or the other cuz I
REALY DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK. (Just how many of us DO care
I have had sistaz tell me, "you used
to have good hair till you went and got it all nappy." Ohhhhhh, well. I just file her
as "Negro" and move on ... get back to her when she takes the blinders off...
True indeed, because standards of
beauty are not so defining in a patriarchal culture for Black males, we have *mostly*
liberated ourselves from the hair issue. Everyone does remember that as late as the mid
90's various methods of hair madness ravaged the heads of Black men? And back in the early
1900s we did all kinds of insanity to get it straight. There are still some brothaz
running around with permed hair ... scary stuff to see...
But the point is, we brothaz took our hair back.
So now we got afros, dreadz, cornrows --- u name it.
I am well aware that for Black
women, beauty being so intertwined with female existence in this society, it will be a
more difficult task. But heck, it ain't goin' to happen if ya'll just don't do it.
Ain't no amount of brothaz goin' to
compliment Black women into an appreciation of her natural self. Ain't that many
compliments in the world!
Self-appreciation has to
come from within.