On the Subject of
Our HAIR!!!!

Date:  Thursday, February 3, 2000
From: Brother DG

Subject:  Re: Natural Hair & Interracial Relationships

Speaking as a Black man who ONLY dates Black women in shades varying from cafe au lait to chocolate deluxe...

Who do sistaz think taught Black men to fawn and drool over straight hair?

Yup you guessed it --- the women they grew up around (mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, etc.) and the dominant society that pushes its own standards of beauty, daily. Why do sistaz think that if they had to come to terms with Black hair and African features, that brothaz don't have to get rid of such negative brain-washing as well?

Well, I can't change the dominant society --- not overnight anyway.  But, IMHO, sistaz need to choose how they want to look for themselves and by themselves.  If sistaz all went natural --- wasn't a damn thing brothaz could do but appreciate it. If sistaz want brothaz to appreciate natural hair... weeeeeeellllll...

Go out and get natural!..

Don't make excuses about "my hair is unmanageable (as if for the past 120,000 yrs. of homo sapiens sapiens history Black women:

  • "have not been able to fix their hair until Madam CJ Walker came along...)" or
  • "my head is shaped funny..." or
  • "brothaz might not respond well to my hair...", etc. etc.

Brothaz are NOT goin' to appreciate naturals
if Black women continually go out
and get perms or dye their hair blonde, etc..

I have witnessed many instances where brothaz became not only used to --- but interested and appreciative --- in/of natural hair styles on Black women. So please, if one wishes to date white, brown or what have you men --- then do so. But do not make it seem as if Black men drove one into the arms of a member of another race.  It stereotypes Black men without taking into account that we suffer from the same beauty complexes Black women do. And it makes Black women seem like pitiful victims, devoid of self control or power over their lives.

Fact is, ideas and standards of beauty were began first and foremost by the dominant society. No matter how much they want to touch our hair or compliment our African features, their society is the origin of the inferiority complex we suffer from.

Isn't it the most vicious type of irony that we seem to feel good about ourselves when one of THEM compliments us (hair or otherwise), when it was their buttz, collectively speaking, (so, please don't nobody start on the good white guy/girl they know story...) who got us stuck in this mess?

I get compliments on my nappy crown from white women all the time.  But it don't phase me one way or the other cuz I REALY DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK.  (Just how many of us DO care tho'...hmmmm....)

I have had sistaz tell me, "you used to have good hair till you went and got it all nappy." Ohhhhhh, well. I just file her as "Negro" and move on ... get back to her when she takes the blinders off...

True indeed, because standards of beauty are not so defining in a patriarchal culture for Black males, we have *mostly* liberated ourselves from the hair issue. Everyone does remember that as late as the mid 90's various methods of hair madness ravaged the heads of Black men? And back in the early 1900s we did all kinds of insanity to get it straight. There are still some brothaz running around with permed hair ... scary stuff to see...

But the point is, we brothaz took our hair back.
So now we got afros, dreadz, cornrows --- u name it.

I am well aware that for Black women, beauty being so intertwined with female existence in this society, it will be a more difficult task. But heck, it ain't goin' to happen if ya'll just don't do it.

Ain't no amount of brothaz goin' to compliment Black women into an appreciation of her natural self.  Ain't that many compliments in the world! 

Self-appreciation has to come from within.

Brother DG

HAIR!!!! Essays:

Marcus Mosiah Garvey [1887-1940]

"Don't remove the kinks
from your

Remove them
from your

-- The Honorable
Marcus Mosiah Garvey


Copyright 1998-2031 Prema - All Rights Reserved
e-mail: prema139@yahoo.com